I haven’t blogged in three months.
It’s not because of college, work, or because my life has been hectic, although those things had a hand in it. I stopped blogging because I no longer felt like I was part of the book community. I felt like posting would have done nothing but anger people no matter what, because lately (aka the last year) the book community I had come to love has turned into a community divided. However, there is a common thread throughout the divided parts: hatred, judgement, and closed-minds.
I stopped blogging and participating heavily on Twitter for three months because I was sick and tired of all the (excuse my language) bullshit going on in the community. I am still sick and tired of it. I am sick of the arguing, the name calling, the fighting, and all sides of the community making each other feel bad for being themselves and thinking their own thoughts. The book community is no longer the safe haven I once knew it as; it is now a place where your every thought, word, and even reading preference is scrutinized and if the majority doesn’t like it? Well, sorry Charlie, you are shit out of luck. I no longer feel like I can freely express myself without stepping on toes or someone getting pissed off. That is not a community I want to be a part of. Over the past few months, I have lost people I considered to be close and long-time friends because they didn’t agree with me on certain issue or topics (or so I assume from the tweets I read). They never approached asked me about it or bothered to see my side of things. They just…cut me out. They have a right to do that, of course, but I would have expected more from people who I called friends.
You have a right to disagree with me, to not like me, etc., but nowadays, that isn’t enough for some in this community. No one can just quietly or respectfully disagree anymore. They have to spread the word about how horrid you are and you have to withstand people you don’t even know calling you horrible names. You have to lose close friends and be slammed by authors who you once respected. It’s not like I know from personal experience or anything. *Sarcasm* In case you didn’t catch that.
Anyway. I just wanted to express how damaging and harmful this community has become for me over the past year or so. I can no longer jump onto Twitter expecting to see people talking about the books they love or just sharing their love for books. I jump onto Twitter now to fighting and hatemongering. There is a clear difference between fighting and debating. Debating is done with a clear goal to understand each side of things and possibly come up with a solution. Fighting is done with nothing but chaos in mind. You can respectfully debate. You cannot respectfully fight someone. No one is debating on Twitter, there is only chaotic fighting to say “my way is the ONLY way”. Calls for kindness are silenced quickly because apparently there is too much kindness in the world already, respect is quickly shot down in the name of making a point, and understanding wasn’t even in the damn mix to begin with. That is what this community has turned into to me.
Just from what I have said so far, I GUARANTEE that I pissed someone off. Someone will take my words out of context or read too heavily into them and BOOM, something to get angry about. However, this post isn’t to silence anyone or intentionally piss someone off; it’s to call for a change. Because this community needs to change or else it won’t help anyone; it will only hurt, just like it is doing now. This community claims to be accepting, but it truly only accepts you if you comply and agree or gracefully change yourself to fit a certain mold. For a community claiming to be accepting, it isn’t very open to change or opposing opinions, is it? I want, no, I NEED that to change or else I will have no other community to turn to. This community has turned me off of reading and blogging aka doing what I love. I no longer feel accepted or welcome in this community, and THAT is not right. The whole demeanor and attitude of this community needs to change because I guarantee that I am not the only one brought down by the dark clouds hanging over this community.
I no longer think, “The book community? It’s amazing, the people there are so nice and they are basically another family.”
I now think, “The book community? *heavily sighs*”
It’s exhausting. It needs to change. Things need to be better and the people need to become the accepting group they claim to be. I’m trying my hardest to be respectful, accepting, and kind to everyone I talk to. If I can do it (someone who has been through some shit on this site from a LOT of people), why can’t everyone else? Kindness and respect shouldn’t be so hard to master, but that’s the world we live in, unfortunately.
I have no idea what I manage to accomplish with this post except to let the world know how fed up I am with everything.
Be kind and show respect, even if you don’t agree, because you are talking to another human being who has a heart and feelings that can be hurt.